But at the same time fuck you for being a dick about the whole thing. You knew how hard everything was for me.
i thought i was confused before
seeing you today only made it worse.
just as i was about to fall asleep, i remembered the day we went out to the beach. it was freezing and dark and we climbed down a cliff to get there. then we walked on a trail and saw rabbits and sat on the dock beside the beaver dam. “damn you’re fine” was the joke of the night. you had blankets in the trunk of your car and we just laid there and talked. that was probably one of the best nights we had. thinking about it is torture, knowing that no longer care, or no longer want to care about what we had.
im still not sure if i regret what i did or not but thinking about this is killing me from the inside out.